Wednesday, February 27, 2013


Went to class on Monday ... How awkward is it to stare at four people wandering where the rest of the class is including the teacher.....Very awkward. Could've stayed cuddled up making love to my pillow and sheets.

Saturday, February 23, 2013

Aunt Jenny

This was a beautiful writing that hit home with me. My mother works with the handicap and at times when i was younger i would gotoher job and just observe them. I'v never had a one on one experience with a mentally ill person until my big brother reached 19. At 19 my brother was dignosed with schizophrenia meaning he had multiple personalities. I guess some may say this is diffrent than dealing with a person that has down syndrome but for me it's the same because society looks at them diffrent. My brother wasn't always this way, growing up with him was like living with a comedian. He always made jokes goofed around, caused trouble, was even known as a big player in high school. He had aspired to be a rapper and because he was very smart he was really good at it,i was a fan. My brother and i was as close as could be only a year apart he always kept me laughing , even though im younger, i'v always been over protective of him. I started noticing a change in him around 18 he would be zoned out of space and say really crazy random things. One day my bother was acting very paranoid and said he was hearing things, this scared me and my older sister so wetook him to the hospitol. When we took him there he started spazing out saying that me and my eldest sister were't his sisters that he didnt even know who we were. This hurt me so much to see him like this. The doctors then shipped him off to a mental institution and it killed me to see him inside of there. Whenever my family and i would visit him he would shout and yell for us to stay or take him with us. After being put in and out of mental institutions my brother finally got better. With him taking his meds he dont spaze out anymore i wish i could say he was back to how he used to be but at least he is better. Later on i came to find out someone druged him and this could have been the most likly reason for everything. Many people on the outside look at mentally ill people as if there disgusting or that they are beneath people that dont have a mental illness. Yet it isnt their fualt that they are like that some ( like my brother) knows something isnt right in their head and try despertly to stop it but its something they cant control. Doug having schizophrenia doesnt make me love him any less if anything it makes me appriciate him even more.

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

My Crime and Punishment

   In class when we were picking topics it really didn't make a difference what the topics were about. It's rare that a teacher would even let  you pick your essay topic so my thought process was I'll just take what I'm given because usually i wouldn't be able to choose. I thought that i could type a paper on any of the subjects but when everyone picked crime and punishment i had absolutely no idea what i was gonna write about. Good thing we did the topics ideas on the board in class because it really helped me out. As i start typing my subject it seemed to all flow out. I was just typing and typing until my fingers started hurting surprisingly i did all that while i was drunk of off night quill. As we do peer revision in class and i read my essay out loud to me it sounded like i was rambling. I just kept on speaking on the same subject for so long i thought my group was gonna be like ,"okay get to the point". Although i felt i was rambling they seemed to like it very much and said it was interesting , i was very surprised. I had allot of errors but over all i guess my paper was pretty descent.

Friday, February 1, 2013

Library day.

Today the class went into the library to learn how we all could effectively use it. What a joy that was because honestly i haven't been in the library not once and did not know how to go about using anything that pertained to it either. I don't have my library card so that's the main reason why. Today Ive learn that i could get a book electronically which i find pretty cool and helpful. You wouldn't have to go around toting a book ( but then again you might have to go around toting a laptop so maybe a book would be best) the movable books shelf were pretty cool i think Ive never seen that before and i probably wont be using it because I'm not technology savy so i wouldn't want to break it or squish someone in there ( sense I'm sort of blind).I'm sure checking out recent DVDs is nice for the people whom live on campus so who ever the guy who donated the DVDs to the school is a big help to those who stay on campus. I love the data base tool because i am able to refine my searches and not just search one thing at a time. The tool that your able to look up the ways to cite  the work will come in handy i think. So overall the trip was a great help for me thanks Sweeney thumbs up.

Between the Drafts

Between the Drafts

    Between the drafts was a very interesting read for me. In school they teach you that rough drafts and revising your essays and your research papers is so important. We've been taught this our whole lives. So it only comes natural that we do this with every single paper. We look for eras switch up words change a thought so it can be as accurate as possible according to the dictionary or the laws of English. We never sit back and think (well I've never) hey by me doing all this revision and rough drafts I'm losing the essence of how i really wanted to direct my feelings in this paper. If i have to change up sentences or change my thought process then I'm really not being true to my self or my paper. By revising my paper i further more in some aspect losing myself in my writing. This article, journal , or writing made me realize all of that. Maybe that's why i like writing poetry so much I could be as raw as id like. I never have to follow any real guideline(unless you count how your suppose to format poetry, and even then I'm kind of like screw it because ill be reciting my poetry out loud anyway). Following this lady's life ( who i originally thought was a boy) i can see her thought process and how it involved. Its' kind of ironic that a teacher would look at revision and a negative way.Even with all of that said truth be told we cant get rid of the revision stage of writing because then articles and such would be all over the place. Not everyone would know what to do with all that freedom.

Sunday, January 20, 2013

                                        Writing and the Threshold Life  

    Writing and the Threshold Life was naturally a good read for me because of coarse anything dealing with poetry catches my interest. Although this isn't all really about poetry, is it? No not really, part is about the complex nature of a play. Buddhism has always been a great religion to me it uplifts the spirit of those who follows it, it is such a positive religion . It doesn't just give you a set of rules and orders to follow, it gives you guidelines to be happy and to eventually reach a state of purity and relaxation. In this play the story is based upon the blueprint of Buddhism and two monks who follow the religion with strong respectful views. On their journey they meet and elderly women who on a first impression anyone would assume to be just a poor begger. They see her on a stub of a tree which for the monks is a insult to the religion. They have a disagreement and as she speaks her appearance become irrelevant because she speaks with such wisdom and seems to be poetic. The monks then come to learn that she is not just some old begger women but the infamous poet Komachi. They then ask her why do she dress like a begger because at one point in her life she was so very beautiful and full of grace. She then tells them that in her past life she was in short term what you would call a player. She never wanted to settle down with any of the many men who cared to catch her attention. One man that she led on and left on her door step in the cold loved her very much and when he died her body caught his spirit. Sense he was so full of sorrow and hurt that is all she has felt she is some what possessed with the ghost of him. Until she reaches where she needs to be  (i believe Nirvana I'm not sure) than she will feel the burden of both of their sorrow. One thing about this reading that caught my eye was something that
Galway Kinnell wrote that made me think. He wrote "for the writer to write at all he or she must cultivate a heart that opens in tenderness to all things". From this i get that to be a good writer you have to understand the perspective of every view be opened minded and open hearted. He wrote "Tenderness does not choose its own uses it goes out to everything equally, circling rabbit and hawk. look in the iron bucket, a single nail, a single ruby, all the heavens and hells. they rattle in the heart and make one sound" i found that to be very beautiful because i could to relate to my own poetry i tryto view everyones point of view. At times i even write about things that ive never been through just my perspective of how others viewed a situation.

Want to hear some of my work? Well here you go (p.s im very sensitive about my work but also very passonate about it , hope you like it =)